In short: Flow is the state in which we’re completely absorbed in a task and time simply disappears. Most people can’t say exactly what puts them in that state – but you can hear it in the way they talk. A good mentor listens for the signs, asks the right questions, and helps people build their work around their passion: a founder whose company has grown and who no longer does what he loves, an employee in the wrong role, or someone looking for the next step in their career.
The concept of Flow was coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. According to his research, Flow happens when there’s a balance between challenge and skill: the task is hard enough to stretch us, but we have the tools to handle it. A challenge that’s too high creates anxiety. Too low – boredom.
And what usually gets us there is passion. Passion isn’t a cliché for “dream chasers” – it’s the fuel. It creates intrinsic motivation, motivation leads to Flow, and Flow creates persistence and deep learning. Over time, that’s what turns people into experts in their field.
But there’s a problem here: most people don’t ask themselves what their passion is or when they’re in Flow. They ask what’s expected of them, what pays off, what “makes sense.” And the answers to those questions don’t always lead to the same place.
What it feels like from the inside
I know this state well. When we founded Highcon, we were in an incredible Flow.
We interviewed potential customers, distilled the challenge, and started thinking about a solution. We ran around raising money to fund development, searched for parts in scrapyards, and built a prototype. That period flew by, and we didn’t even feel it. The challenge was huge, but every day we learned something new, and every small step moved us forward. I wrote about that period in my book, “Light and Shadow – A Mental Journey of Entrepreneurship”.
But at the time, I didn’t call it Flow. We just worked. Only in hindsight did I understand how rare that state is, and how much it was our fuel.
That’s exactly why, more often than not, the one who spots someone’s Flow is actually someone on the outside.
The signs: what you hear when someone talks about their passion
When people talk about something they do out of passion, something changes. Not in what they say – in how they say it:
- The pace changes. They speak faster, or actually slow down and become more precise.
- The details multiply. Instead of “I worked on the project,” you get small details, names, numbers, moments.
- Time disappears from the story. “Suddenly I looked at the clock and it was already night.”
- The body joins in. They lean forward, their hands move, their eyes light up.
- They come back to it. Even when the conversation moves on, they find a way to return.
And the opposite is just as clear: when someone describes their role in general terms, in a flat tone, with a lot of “have to” and “supposed to” – their Flow is probably somewhere else.
The questions a mentor asks
Signs alone aren’t enough. You also need to ask, and gently – because people are used to answering with what they’re supposed to love, not what they actually love.
- “Tell me about the last time you lost track of time at work. What exactly were you doing?”
- “Which part of your work would you do even if no one paid you for it?” (That’s probably the passion.)
- “What do people come to you for advice about, even when it’s not your job?”
- “Which task do you keep putting off – and what about it drains you?”
- “If you could drop half of your tasks, what would you keep?”
The answers don’t always come right away. Sometimes they come at the next meeting, after the question has been working in the back of their mind for a few days.
Three cases where it changes everything
The founder whose company grew, and the passion was left behind
Many founders know that first period, when everything flows. They founded a company out of passion for something specific: the product, the technology, the customers. Then the company grew, and they found themselves in a completely different role – fundraising, reports, management meetings. They still work hard, but the Flow is gone.
A mentor who spots this doesn’t say “get used to it, that’s what being a CEO is.” He asks: where is your passion today? And then you look at how to bring the founder back to doing what he loves – for example, hiring a COO to take over day-to-day management, or dividing roles differently within the management team. And sometimes you discover that the CEO role isn’t the right place for this particular founder, and that’s okay.
The employee who’s in the wrong place in the organization
Sometimes a manager comes in and says: “I have a good employee, but something isn’t working.” The employee isn’t lazy and isn’t lacking ability. He’s simply in a role that doesn’t suit him – maybe the challenge is too low, maybe it’s a type of work that drains him.
Here, the mentor’s role is to help the manager see what the employee isn’t saying: when he lights up in meetings, which topics he volunteers for, what he does when no one asks. That’s usually where his passion lies. And sometimes the “problem” employee is actually an excellent employee in the wrong place.
The person looking for the next career step
People looking for a new direction tend to start with “what’s in demand” or “what pays well.” Those are important questions, but they’re not enough. You can succeed in a role that has no passion in it – but it’s hard to stick with it for years.
Here a mentor helps look for the common thread: what did all the moments when you worked in Flow have in common, across all the roles you’ve had? Sometimes it turns out it’s not a field – it’s a type of work: solving problems, building from scratch, teaching, persuading. And then you can look for the next step based on that.
Why it’s hard to see on your own
As I wrote in the post on the questions a mentor asks, a pattern is hardest to see when you’re inside it. Passion and Flow are exactly that kind of pattern. We’re so used to what comes easily to us that we don’t realize it’s special. “That? That’s nothing, anyone can do it.”
Not anyone can. And very often, that’s exactly where the direction lies.
5 questions to ask yourself
- When in the past month did I lose track of time at work? What exactly was I doing?
- What do people come to me for advice about?
- Which part of my work would I do even if no one paid me for it?
- What did my best moments have in common, across all the roles I’ve had?
- How much of my week goes to these things – and how much to everything else?
The bottom line: Passion and Flow aren’t just a pleasant feeling. They’re a compass. And when it’s hard to read on your own, a mentor can hear it for you – in the pace, in the details, in the eyes that light up.
Want to find out where your passion lies, and whether your work is built around it? Book an intro call.
